Time for a new installment on the Skidmore cycling blog, the STG rankings. A common disease in the ECCC is Skill to Gear deficiency syndrome, which explains the vast amounts of Pinarello Prince’s and Ridley Ex calibers in class D races. The Skidmore rider who displays the ballerest gear, while maintaining the lowest standards of performance will top the STG power rankings and win the coveted “bike douche of the month” award.
1. Matt Choi: Matt comes into mid April having raced two weekends and not broken into the top 20 for any of his 4 events (except that one which had 20 riders). While losing all these races, Matt has been sporting a slick Bianchi C2C alu-carbon compact frame, with all carbon cranks powered by his Shimano carbon bottomed boots, PIMPIN. His bike also sports a Brooks leather seat which despite its lack of aerodynamics, screams “hipster who does this when he’s not on his fixie.” When hes training, Matt likes to wear cycling equipment made by prestigious and overpriced cycling brand Rapha, which his grandma bought him when he went off to college. Congrats Matt for your awesome gear and complete lack of results you are the “Bike Douche of the Month.”
2. Dan S: Dan was close to beating out Matt in the STG rankings but his considerable effort dropped him to second. Unlike Matt, Dan has raced four weekends, trumping Matt’s 2. Recently Dan could be seen throwing up after a hill climb from the seat of an all carbon Cannondale Synapse frame, with Ultegra components. Dan is seriously considering purchasing an all carbon fiber bottle holder, which was the gram difference between vomiting and not vomiting on that last hill at Yale. Still, the multiple races under his belt drop Dan past Matt. Sorry Dan, do less with your awesome gear and maybe you can win next month.
3. Alex Brehm: April’s biggest climber is undoubtedly Alex B. As recently as last month Alex was at the very bottom of the STG rankings due to his excellent race performances upon his all steel frame with downtube shifters. Recently however Alex has made a run for the top, purchasing an all carbon fiber frame and crashing it a record three times! WOW, keep it up big guy. The rowing shirt at races is hurting Alex’s prospects a little, no douche of the month can wear non cycling specific clothing while racing.
4.Kyle Bowet/ Dan P/Alex M: These riders are pretty much on par with their gear level, and round out the bottem of the rankings. Each rider is in danger of making the drop however if they continue to do well at races and don’t make 1000 dollar upgrades to their gear.
5.Gabe Herrera/Paul Russell: Dead last in the rankings. Gabe continues to do well at races finishing top 10 each weekend, all on some Trek (its red but who knows what model it is). The rumor mill has it that a 2000 dollar bike is is the works for Gabe from his dad, which could potentially catapult him up the ladder if combined with some poor results next weekend. Paul Russell maintains his last place in the ladder mostly due to his consistent results in the C group. Paul’s C classification means he would either have to straight up lose races or get a ridiculously nice bike to go anywhere in the rankings. We can’t all be winners guys.
Skidmore Cycling 